Unfamiliar Quotations

Family


"It has occurred to me that being the first person ever to have had a child, I have a certain duty to report, from time time, on what that unique circumstance involves." -John Diamond, slightly revised

"They didn't have to be funny - they were father jokes." - Terry Pratchett


"There are no conflict-free engagement rings." - Terri Weiner


"The handy gene is brutally recessive."  - Mike Rowe


It's not that you can't go home again.  It's that most people know better."  - Daniel Pinkwater


“Parents own the children.” - Rand Paul

“Some people are born where they belong, and some have to find their way there. There’s no difference after that.” - Thomas Perry

"Relationships with parents are best run on a need-to-know basis." - Dan Savage

"This is fakery. If they care at all about their children or grandchildren, and sometimes I doubt that -- I think, you know, grandchildren now don't write a thank-you for the Christmas presents, they're walking on their pants with the cap on backwards listening to the enema man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg, and they don't like them!” -Former Republican Senator Alan Simpson, March 7, 2011


“A dungeon in every castle.”-Susan Weiner and Nat Budin
 
“Of course your parents know which buttons to push.They installed them.”-Mitch Gallaher.

"In a family argument, if it turns out you are right - apologize at once." -Robert A. Heinlein

 
Out Here
 

"Our marriage is like the Electoral College: it works okay if you don't think about it." -Garrison Keillor


"The best thing I can say about my generation is that at least it isn't burdening its children with a tough act to follow." -Andrew Ward


"'Shut up,' Daddy Explained." -Ring Lardner

"Parents once taught their children to talk; today children teach their parents to be quiet." -Talmud
"I was raised by a pack of wild corn dogs." -Toni Price